Women of Wisdom: Tina Keller

Good morning Sweet Mamas (&dads i won’t forget you!)

     I love writing to my beautiful daughters but I know how wonderful it is to get a letter as a parent. A letter of encouragement, not one of those letters from the IRS telling you they are coming to repossess your car. Sometimes a letter from your mother or from your respected best friend is something that can change the course of your day.

     I wanted to give you a letter from a "Woman of Wisdom." Have you ever met someone who you walked away from a conversation so filled with uplifting confidence and wisdom for your day? They seem to have a never-ending reserve of experience and truth that all flows out of them effortlessly.  Well if you ask me what I want to be when I grow up, it’s a Woman of Wisdom!

     Katie Westenberg from Club31Women gives us help with becoming a Woman of Wisdom.

"How exactly do I move from being a young mother, struggling to learn and grow, trying to figure out this life and keep my head above water, to becoming a woman who lives from a place of overflowing—a woman of wisdom?

Thankfully, we aren’t left without answers here.  No matter what stage of life we are in, we can always stand to increase in wisdom and there are some simple ways we can grow, right where we are.

7 Ways to Become a Woman of Wisdom

1)  Ask. 

Too simple, right?  But there you have it. God told us if anyone lacks wisdom they should ask for it by faith, without doubting (James 1:5-6).  Solomon did it and worked out pretty well for him. 

What might our lives look like, what kind of women might we become if we committed to regularly asking God for wisdom? (Daniel 2:23)

2)  Follow others carefully. 

Social media, books, and podcasts give us the opportunity to learn and grow from all sorts of leaders who can become our mentors at a distance. 

Choose carefully. 

Follow women who pursue wisdom. Follow women, who follow Him.  I have to tell you, Club 31 Women is a pretty great place to start!  (Proverbs 13:20)

3)  Keep good company. 

Find friends of strong character and moral integrity.  Spend time with women who are truth-seekers, who walk humbly and love mercy.  These are the friends who will challenge you and encourage you in godly wisdom.

4)  Pursue it.

Proverbs 16:16 values wisdom over gold, over riches and wealth.  Wow. 

What if we valued wisdom over immediate answers?  Wisdom over quick and sharp responses?  Wisdom over Band-Aids and patches in the rough spots of life, challenges with our kids, with our spouses, and friends?

5)  Seize the small moments.

Sometimes we think wisdom comes forth in glorious proclamations and big moments, but wisdom actually shines through in the seemingly smaller moments of faithfulness and steadfastness.  Proverbs 3:13 states that our wisdom is shown through good conduct and meekness.  

6)  Stay Humble. 

Plain and clear, Proverbs 11:2 tells us that with humility comes wisdom. In every venture, stay humble.

7)  Keep a healthy perspective of time. 

In the struggles of sleepless nights, we must remember this won’t last forever. In the heaping piles of laundry, we must know that time is fleeting and in the challenges of connecting with the hearts of our teenagers we must realize that leaning into to the hard moments is critical and worth it. 

From the day we are born our days are numbered and knowing that, living with a careful understanding of that, is living wisely. (Psalm 90:12)

Sometimes we tend to think wisdom is an age or a stage. 

Maybe it comes after we are an adult or when we become a mother.  Maybe when we turn 50?  Maybe it’s comes after our children leave home and or when we become grandmothers. 

But we are instructed to seek wisdom right where are.  Today.  That we may be women filled up to overflowing, seasoning those around us and igniting our world with the wisdom of Truth."

     She could not have said this any better. So in this series I will be reaching out to each "Woman of Wisdom" that has influenced my life and so many others. I not only wanted to get insight on these woman drew near to the Lord during these hectic years, but I also wanted some practical advice too.

     The first woman I wanted to feature, I happen to be related to. Tina Keller. She is my aunt, devout daughter of Christ, wife to a doctor, and mother of five incredible kids. When asked about what things she did to help her through the years of 4 kids under the age of 4 (or 5 kids under 8), she responded, “I truly believe that family is a gift given to us by the Lord. We must guard it like treasure. From a very young age, read the Story Bible or Word and Song Bible to them every night and pray with them allowing them to pray out loud for each other no matter how minor it seems. Try to do it as 'all four of you' at least once a day. It seems small, but that habit will go deep. Even as they grow older and have separate bedtimes, pull everyone together before the youngest goes to bed for family devotion (or do it at breakfast if Dad is around). Keep the Word and prayer as a center of family time. Don’t let it become boring, get a flannel board, act out Ecclesiastes, and be silly. Let this time be something they look forward to. Talk about even small answers to prayer and God’s faithfulness.

      Regarding the energy that you need to survive. Be diligent about a schedule when possible. They need “quiet time” on a blanket or in their crib for themselves to be away from each other and also for you. Stick with an attempt at a consistent bedtime and wake time and nap time. Exercise the best you can each day. This is when I took up running because it was the quickest thing I could do by just going out my front door and being back in 30 minutes before anyone woke up. I was blessed with a friend in my neighborhood that kept me accountable and we are still running partners 20 years later even though she doesn’t live in my neighborhood any more. We still run and pray together each Monday through Friday before anyone wakes up.

     Also, don’t feel guilty about making your family a priority. Eat on paper plates so that you have time for something besides dishes. And cook easy meals even if you have the same thing every Tuesday night, that's ok.  My kids knew what the meal was going to be for almost every night of the week.  We ate on paper plates for 10 years! Hire a babysitter to fold your laundry and hold the crying baby so that you can go outside to the swings and swing with your kids. Be the one to teach them to play a sport, sing a song, read, put on makeup, etc.

     If you have a rug or a couch that no one can sit on, get rid of it so that you can reduce the stress level you feel while enjoying every inch of your home. Of course, you can still teach them not to jump on the couch with a $200 couch vs a $1000 couch that no one can sit on. Have toys in the living room and hide them in the kitchen so they can play while you cook. Don’t send them off to the playroom without you for long periods. The Bible says in Debt 6:7 “These words I am commanding you today are to be upon your hearts. 7And you shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8Tie them as reminders on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.…”.  

       We started a babysitting coop with 10 couples when the oldest was born. We were all following a parenting curriculum called Growing Kids God’s Way. It taught a lot about the family being God centered and not child-centered, about how important your relationship was with your spouse in order to build a solid foundation. We “traded” hours for our dates and the kids got to go to other couples’ homes that were also training their kids in a similar way. They also saw those other families as role models of Godly Christian parents and homes. Community is important. Those kids are still some of our kids’ best friends. The 10 couples are still married to each other and even though the babysitting hours ended as they grew older, the Mom’s got back together for Mom’s prayer as our kids went through college. Now, we are back to a couples Bible book study every other week as several have approached empty nesting. What our kids have seen has been so valuable. In a culture where divorce and marriage is not valued, they have seen these 10 couples walk out life and still be committed to each other and Jesus. We all go to various different churches and our kids went to different schools and colleges, but they can see the true meaning of commitment to each other and the family.

     Anyway, those days when they are little are very LONG at times. Go ahead and give them two baths in one day if you need an activity. spend time with them, talk to them, teach them, play dolls with them, etc. If you are with them, and you see an attitude or behavior creep in, you can address it quickly. Be the one to teach the children’s class at church. Get to know their little buddies.  You don't have to try to be the world's best Mom.  Just be you.  Ask forgiveness when you need to and let them see how you lean on Jesus throughout your day.  They will be affected much more by what you do than by what you say, so walk with Jesus and trust Him to fill in with others and in ways where you fall short.  He is so faithful!”

     What amazing wisdom from a woman who embodies Proverbs 31. I want to pass this along to you because I know this life can be really hard. I want you to know that even if you don’t have a community right now you have someone who is always with you. He wants to hear your thoughts, anxieties, and cries for help. He hurts when you hurt because he loves you more than ANY father or mother could ever love their child. How good it is to know that we are not in this alone!

                                                                   Sincerely,

                                                                             Danielle