How Motherhood Has Changed Me

I LOVE structure. I LOVE clean. I LOVE a detailed agenda for the day. I LOVE sitting alone for hours in the library studying. I LOVE the discipline and efficient use of time- and its been two years since I have had ANY of those. Not coincidentally, its been two years since my first baby was born. Has two years of motherhood turned this go getter into someone treading water just to stay afloat?

This cant be how this motherhood thing works?! Why do I feel like I start every day behind? Why do I feel like every mother I see has had a workout, cooked breakfast, and got herself ready before I can even find the diapers in the morning. Will I live in survival mode forever?

When I started this motherhood journey I had the “self sacrificing” mindset: “Take care of everyone- even if that means you don’t get a shower…for a few days.” Then I thought I got good enough to take on the “self care” mindset: “I can take care of everyone and look good while doing it!”

I kept thinking I can do this motherhood thing if I try hard enough but since realized I cant do everything I just picked one mom to be every day. Today I was the mom that cooked and cleaned! Today I was the mom who left her housework for another day and just played with my kids! Today I was the mom who worked out and got myself and my kids all dressed up to go to the grocery store! It was a never ending circle. I was lacking purpose and direction. I was just chasing my idea of motherhood.

Until I looked into what God says about motherhood. He kept saying to me, “Danielle you feel lost because you are looking at everyone else. Look to me. Talk to me. Let me come along side of you and run this race with you.”

Kat Lee said it best in her book Hello Mornings, “If you can just connect with him every day – he will take you the rest of the way. Fall at his feet first. Let Him feed you before you feed anyone else.” The Lord promises to meet you where you are.

When I met my husband we ALWAYS talked about selling all our things and just traveling the world. We still talk about it- and something in us really would love to do it- even with a two year old and a one year old. But Kats quote challenged me: “the wild, faithful pursuit of big adventures is so much more glamorous than the wild, faithful pursuit of the everyday. But it’s in the middle of the mundane that we lay the foundation for our greatest adventures.

So how do we live wildly bravely and exceptionally in the middle of the ordinary- in the midst of dinners that need to be cooked and the bills that need to be paid- we do this by living with wild exceptional excellence in the small things- remembering the habits we foster and the character we build along with way are the HEART of our greatest triumphs. Mother Teresa is a beautiful example of this, she undoubtedly lived an exceptional life. But it wasn’t marked by one big thing she did. We know her because of the wild obedience to small things. The lepers, the children the poor the people everyone else saw but walked right by. Small simple things make the big things possible. So regardless of your season or situation don’t be afraid to dream big and start now- live in excellence in the small things. You see, living an exceptional life isn’t just an opportunity that comes along once in a lifetime. It’s an invitation that awaits us every single day. Every single morning.”

 “Let the mornings bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for you I entrust my life.”

Psalm 143: 8