Recovery of the heart

http://www.marshillreview.com/sojo/peterson.shtm 

Retreat weekend

Solitude silence. He has spoke to my heart. There is so much to learn. I realize that I was so used to back leading in my marriage - just Being the control and leader of a spineless person-  That I can come on really strong-  I have needed a quiet strength.  I am a grinder I dig down and get to work and lean into adversity

From relationship and dating I have learned that I need to let him lead. I need to stop guiding it and taking control myself and give space for Jesus to take over.

And at the conference I learned how to just make war with the devils lies that I have believed that I still operate from

Addictions- why doesn’t God take it away? Because there is a precious part of their heart that is now trapped there and if God were to just wipe it all away they wouldn’t recover that golden part of their heart that became attracted to or attached to the addiction. God is trying to rule was through our self soothing/ comforting behaviors. How long is a weekend a part of us that he wants to have as his to bring it home to him. Where do I go for comfort? Daydream about? Those are indications for the life of your heart. The heart is still there looking for life. What are used to bring that transcendence that beauty and adventure with God? Where did you go? Where are we moving? 

It was the pain and my weakness the lead me to experience and no crisis love

The enemy cast against us- the flesh devil and business

 Suppress the feeling for Longing  of our heart. And put a façade on. what it is there’s deep longing in deep desires that reveals so much of who he is so much of his beauty so much of his goodness. He is not an oppressive God that wants us to follow the rules he just gave us an outline because he knew that our flesh would spin into destruction if left without guidelines. And I have let myself choose my way. and I have decided to choose His way.

Christianity no longer

We know God through our heart not through logic

A line I have added to my script- I’m a grinder

Life has taught us to offer the parts that are approved we live a carefully crafted performance with the can you call Pugh mean the most to us and we divorce our self from our heart

Our original shimmering self gets buried so deep we hardly live out of it at all do you learn to live out of these other selves. That we put on and take off the story of our outer self

 Given the plan everything can be managed. We don’t engage in our hopes and dreams The church has latched onto this idea of sanctification by better management

When I refuse to give up my strongholds. I have held on for far too lomg

““Ah, stubborn children,” declares the Lord, “who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin; who set out to go down to Egypt, without asking for my direction, to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt! Therefore shall the protection of Pharaoh turn to your shame, and the shelter in the shadow of Egypt to your humiliation. For though his officials are at Zoan and his envoys reach Hanes, everyone comes to shame through a people that cannot profit them, that brings neither help nor profit, but shame and disgrace.” Egypt’s help is worthless and empty; therefore I have called her “Rahab who sits still.””

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭1‬-‭5‬, ‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.30.1-7.ESV

“For they are a rebellious people, lying children, children unwilling to hear the instruction of the Lord; who say to the seers, “Do not see,” and to the prophets, “Do not prophesy to us what is right; speak to us smooth things, prophesy illusions, Therefore thus says the Holy One of Israel, “Because you despise this word and trust in oppression and perverseness and rely on them, therefore this iniquity shall be to you like a breach in a high wall, bulging out and about to collapse, whose breaking comes suddenly, in an instant; For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling,”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭9‬-‭10‬, ‭12‬-‭13‬, ‭15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.30.9-15.ESV

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, “Be gone!” And he will give rain for the seed with which you sow the ground, and bread, the produce of the ground, which will be rich and plenteous. In that day your livestock will graze in large pastures, and the oxen and the donkeys that work the ground will eat seasoned fodder, which has been winnowed with shovel and fork. And on every lofty mountain and every high hill there will be brooks running with water, in the day of the great slaughter, when the towers fall. Moreover, the light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, as the light of seven days, in the day when the Lord binds up the brokenness of his people, and heals the wounds inflicted by his blow.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭18‬-‭26‬ ‭ESV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.30.18-26.ESV

“And every stroke of the appointed staff that the Lord lays on them will be to the sound of tambourines and lyres. Battling with brandished arm, he will fight with them. For a burning place has long been prepared; indeed, for the king it is made ready, its pyre made deep and wide, with fire and wood in abundance; the breath of the Lord, like a stream of sulfur, kindles it.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭32‬-‭33‬ ‭ESV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.30.32-33.ESV