idols

 Approval

comfort

control 

power

Today Marks 5 years. 5 years in Georgia. 5 years as a single mom. 5 years as a full time school nurse. 5 years of choosing to be grateful for circumstances I would have never wanted in a million years.

My main feeling was overwhelm. I think my fear expressed itself in anger. I was angry that life wasn’t going to go like I wanted it to.

I wanted to care for the home like my mom did. With time to workout, make meals, and have the margin to enjoy life.

I struggled deeply with exhaustion, grief, physical pain. Trying to survive the day to day. Rushing the girls to school, completing work in time to get the girls started on homework and dinner and where the heck is exercise time with all this dang homework!

I still go through many months where all I can do is survive. I felt like I had the life stomped out of me by the world. With every punch, It felt harder and harder to get back on my feet. Or my days would feel like they were rolling in fast forward and I just couldn’t keep up.

 

As the lord wrote a new song in my heart

We have become his poetry