You are there
White lies and desperation
Hard times and conversations
No one should ever love me like You do
Sometimes my bad decisions
Define my false suspicions
No one should ever love me like You do
Oh, while I'm on this road You take my hand
Somehow You really love who I really am
I push You away, still You won't let go
You grow Your roses on my barren soul
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by You?
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by You?
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by You?
Who am I, who am I, who am I?
Last night, confidence was shaken
My wounds and my past was saying
No one should ever love me like You do
Oh, while I'm on this road You take my hand
Somehow You really love who I really am
I push You away, still You won't let go
You grow Your roses on my barren soul
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by You?
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by You?
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by You?
Who am I, who am I, who am I?
The way I push you through it what You had to see
I'm a train wreck, I'm a mess, You see the best and the worst in me
Still I can't imagine that I've earned Your trust
I don't understand where Your love comes from
You can’t do it. This is too hard..
No one should ever love me like you do. How do you really love who I am? Who am I to be loved by you? My failures define who I am - tell the truth to me. You take my hand on this lonely road. You grow your roses on my barren soul. Who am I to be loved by you. Help me believe who you are to be. You take me as I am and love all of me- your grace sustains me through deep waters. Help me believe I am worthy because of your unfailing love that is ever faithful. It extends to the ends of your earth for me. Buried underneath the lies I keep telling me- underneath the death of Lazarus you beat death- so not even that I have to fear.
Help me to believe that a God
I don’t have to fear of making the wrong decision again, you will give me discernment. There is not any sin that you don’t know about. That I can trust that your grace is enough to save me. That I have faith to know that it is finished. And live in confidence knowing that you have already paid the price for me. I am worthy of that love because your love covers it all.
He fell into the pursuit of pleasure. Knowing you through that season spoke truth to my saw that there is no pleasure that satisfies more than your presence. And I don’t want sin of my heart to stand in the way of your presence. So that is why I pursue righteousness because standing in your presence knowing that you are Near is the only hope that propels move forward. That your hand will lead me to you. Your Plans are good even in a broken world.
All the money in the world. The riches of my dreams the open door that looks may bring, you are better than all these things. You are the well that won’t wanna run dry. You are better than all these things. Status matched by only kings. Your word is better than life. I have trusted and I have seen that you were better than all these things shared by all who think of me you are better than all these things. His pursuit of pleasure will always end up empty and meaningless because the life
Speak truth to my heart. Drive out the fear. We have a whole because someday we will be with you and find true rest
Last night was the first night I had the space to cry- it was nice to meet with these ladies (Karen’s group) that all hadnt jobs since their divorce a year and a half ago because they are still struggling too.. it made me feel free to grieve a little bit- it made me feel like I didn’t have to be tough. I cried hard to God and it felt like a sense of relief to finally be able to grieve and not put on a happy face for the girls. I know he will restore my dream of a family- but it was nice to be able to tell God that I needed to be held by him. ThAt I was scared and tired and lonely. It’s only for a season but it was still nice to feel held by a father that understands- he told me he felt the same loneliness and the weight of the worlds sin on the cross and he did that so he could empathize with me- so he could understand how I felt in that moment and be there with me in that loneliness
My very first Mother’s Day - A day I imagined would be filled with flowers and gushing sentiments. Instead, I found myself listening to a confession that would lead to the end of my marriage. Traumatized and grieving, I was in no condition to parent my baby girl for the first 24 hours. My dear friends were kind enough to take her for the night.
When I arrived to pick her up the next day, I sat in a puddle of tears on their living room carpet, lamenting. “I was his bride. We made vows. We were supposed to raise children and have grandchildren together. We were going to break the cycle of divorce in our families. We were supposed to grow old together.”
She listened compassionately before offering an observation. “Harmony, it sounds like you have painted a picture of what you wanted your life to look like. I know it’s hard, but it might be time to surrender the canvas and trust God to paint a new one”.
She was right. I was not only grieving the life I knew, but the one I had imagined we would have. Grief on top of grief. Most of us have spent time picturing what our lives will look like. We paint a canvas in our heads of our marriages, children, careers, friendships, and sometimes even timelines for all of these things.
Vision is a good thing, but what happens when our dreams and expectations are shattered by life’s disappointment? By the death of a loved one, the breakdown of a marriage, or the loss of a career? How do we respond? Do we get angry towards God and respond in bitterness? Do we vow to never dream again, because it hurts too much to hope? Or, are we willing to pry our hands open and surrender the canvas of our lives to Him.
I too have painted a canvas of what my life would look like, but I have discovered that my canvas may not be consistent with the ultimate canvas that God is painting for me.
Fantasy can be idolatry. This happens when we put our trust in an image carved out by our minds. It can be much easier to place our trust in something we can see and control, than to place it in a God we cannot see and cannot control.
True relationship and intimacy can be scary. Healing can be scary. These things require trust and courage to walk with God along unfamiliar paths by ways we have not imagined. But God, our God, wants to take us on this journey. He will make our rough places smooth and bring light where there is none.
If we allow God’s floodlight to penetrate our hearts, He can expose the true source of our pain, so that healing can take place. Only then will we be able to see clearly what has propelled us to escape in fantasy. Only then will we be able to surrender the canvas of our lives to a good God, knowing that He can do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask think or imagine!
You will give me discernment. There is not anything that you dont know about. He fell into the pursuit of pleasure. Tell the truth to my soul that jesus is better. My hope is held in your hand.
Greater than you Love elevation worship.
Want with this broken heart
Why would He take the fall
Knowing us as we are
Glory beyond the shame
Healing beneath the scars
Nothing remains the same
Now that we've seen your love
Nothing is greater than your love
Great is your love
Nothing is greater than your love
There I will find your grace
Mercy has made us one
Never to separate
Power beyond the grave
Freedom beneath the cross
Nothing remains the same
Now that we've seen your love
Nothing is greater than your love
Great is your love
Nothing is greater than your love
Great is your love
Nothing is greater than your love
Great is your love
Nothing is greater than your love
And no shame
Your love won't rise above
Every failure sealed
Within your grave
For love has overcome
There is no fear
And no shame
Your love won't rise above
Every failure sealed
Within your grave
For love has overcome
There is no fear
And no shame
Your love won't rise above
Every failure sealed
Within your grave
For love has overcome
Mountains made of solid gold
Riches that could buy my dreams
You are better than all these things
Beauty that could hypnotize
The open doors that looks may bring
You are better than all these things
You are the well that won't run dry
I have tasted and I have seen
Oh, You are better than all these things
Most important one in every room
Status matched by only kings
You are better than all these things
You are the well that won't run dry
I have tasted and I have seen
You are better than all these things
Oh, Your love is better than life
You are the well that won't run dry
I have tasted and I have seen
You are better than all these things
Approval that outshines the sun
Cheered by all who think of me
You are better than all these things
You are better than all these things
I have tasted and I have seen
You are better than all these things
Oh, Your love is better than life
You are the well that never runs dry
I have tasted and I have seen
You are better than all these things
You are better than all these things
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