10/21/20

 What did I do to deserve such grace?that even though you saw my sinful heart- that you would prepare a table before me?!

That you would deliver from from darkness into a save haven of a community of believers who love you and pursue righteousness. This is truly the definition of leading me beside still water. This is truly the meaning of rescuing me from the bondage of sin. Your promises fulfilled by delivering me from my enemies. How good is my God who smiles down on me with compassion. Who calls me daughter. Who has been betrayed by his unfaithful bride. The pain I felt when he was cheating on me over and over again- I know that is how he feels : heck he gave His Son to die for me and yet I put my desires over His righteousness.

But this is what I wrestle with God lately. 

Is He Enough in my life? My core wound was - I don’t feel Enough. You tell me who I am in You and now for the first time I believe I am enough.. but do I believe you are enough? Do I really live like your promises are true?

Psalm 23. What if I really believed that His goodness and mercy followed you all the days of your life. Isaiah 26: 3 What if you believed that he will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Jerimiah 29:11 What if we really believe plans for a hope future for those who are in Christ Jesus. Rom 8: 1 there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus and that god s intentions for you are only good, blessing and prosperity? Romans 8: 28 -all things work together for the good of those who love him and Ephesians 1:9 every molecule he has under his sovereign control working for the plan he has for you. The most amazing humbling force in the world is the Love of God- never ending never stopping Jesus is the answer to the barrenness. The reason that we are not happy is not because we do not have money marriage etc it is because we are separated from God. Jesus primary reason is to restore us to God. When we have him we can deal with the disappointment. He gives good gifts but the best gifts he gives is GOD HIMSELF! Don’t confuse Gods lesser gifts with his ultimate gift. Sometimes God gives us a token of his favor (children, marriage, etc) They are just signs the ultimate gift is Jesus himself! If I didn’t have anything else on this earth, beauty, success, marriage, health etc- would Christ be enough for me?