2020 Reflection
My "home" was an "island of isolation" on the farm with no cell service, 45 minutes away from anyone.
A place that housed my husband's infidelity, abuse, neglect, addiction, and abandonment.
A place of pain and loss. The loss of my marriage and the family I had hoped to have.
A home that would bring a blanket of fear, sadness, and darkness every time i stepped foot in it.
A place where I would cry out at all all hours of the night, "God where are you? "
The fear, pain, and darkness Satan brought seemed to eat away at my soul.
As I rung in 2020, my prayer was God RESCUE ME from the fear I have, from the destruction sin has caused, deliver me into your arms!"
He answered my prayer more abundantly than I ever thought possible.
Day by day, through His Word God patiently unclenched my fists that tried to gain control over my unraveling and allowed me to surrender this broken life with open hands.
This year has been a beautiful Exodus of my heart.
He stepped into my Egypt, He took me by the hand, He tore apart the sea, He lead me through the deep, and held back the waters for my release.
I found rescue, deliverance, redemption and restoration.
Id open the Word and He give me His living breathing Spirit and fill me with his promises that never fail.
The questions I wrestled with, "who would lead my children? How will I provide for them? How will I rebuild broken family?" Lord I can't even hide my tears from them, how are you calling me to be this strong?" I don't have it in me to walk this journey alone. He answered in a very real way:
When my girls needed an earthly father:
My brother in law filled in that Father role before a single need of her s was ever overlooked. I know I could never emotionally fill two roles. Jimmy is there every night, reading, praying and loving 6 kids like it’s the most important thing God has for him that day.
Im in awe of what He has done. In awe of the grace that the Creator of the Universe would draw near to me, that He would meet me in my pain, that He would extend His grace to let me hear his voice, experience His sweet embrace, felt His gentle healing, see His loving face, and would steady me, and guide me with His strong right arm.
I am Jehovah Rafa- I am your healer
I am Jehovah Mekoddishkem - The Lord Who Sanctifies You.
I am Jehovah Tsidkenu- I am Your Righteousness
I am Jehovah Shama- I am your prescence of God with you
I am Jehova Ra- I am your shepherd
I am Jehovah Jireh – I am your provider
I am God your defender. I will never stop fighting for you.
This year God gave me HIM:
For all those who hunger- I am the bread of life
For all those who thirst- I am the well that never runs dry.
For all those who need a fresh start- I am the door.
For all those in darkness – I am the light.
For all those who feel abandoned- I am the good shepherd.
For all those who are lost – I am the way
For all those who are confused- I am the truth
For all those who are afraid of death- I am the Life
For all those who are powerless- I am your defense
For all those who are empty- I am your fullness
For all those who feel unrighteous- I am your righteous covering
For the dead- I am your resurrection.
For the defeated- I am your everlasting Hope.
He is:
The hope after despair
The life after death
The joy after deep grief.
The clarity after years of insanity.
The truth after all the manipulation.
The freedom from the bondage of sin,
The lush garden from the barren desert
This year I not only received the gift of restoration, I found Him who IS The Redemption, Restoration and Hope.
Isaiah 51:
3The Lord will surely comfort Zion
and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
he will make her deserts like Eden,
her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.
Joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
4“Listen to me, my people;
hear me, my nation:
Instruction will go out from me;
my justice will become a light to the nations.
5My righteousness draws near speedily,
my salvation is on the way,
and my arm will bring justice to the nations.
The islands will look to me
and wait in hope for my arm.
Isaiah 51: 12“I, even I, am he who comforts you.
Who are you that you fear mere mortals,
human beings who are but grass,
13that you forget the Lord your Maker,
who stretches out the heavens
and who lays the foundations of the earth,
that you live in constant terror every day
because of the wrath of the oppressor,
who is bent on destruction?
For where is the wrath of the oppressor?
14The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;
they will not die in their dungeon,
nor will they lack bread.
15For I am the Lord your God,
who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—
the Lord Almighty is his name.
16I have put my words in your mouth
and covered you with the shadow of my hand—
I who set the heavens in place,
who laid the foundations of the earth,
and who say to Zion, ‘You are my people.’ ”
4Do not be afraid, for you will not be put to shame;
do not be intimidated, for you will not be humiliated.
For you will forget the shame of your youth
and will remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5For your husband is your Maker—
the LORD of Hosts is His name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
He is called the God of all the earth.
6For the LORD has called you back,
like a wife deserted and wounded in spirit,
like the rejected wife of one’s youth,”
says your God.
I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,[a]
your foundations with lapis lazuli.
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children will be taught by the Lord,
and great will be their peace.
14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.
Jesus words to us- how wonderful is His grace and mercy
““But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. When that day comes,” says the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’ instead of ‘my master.’ O Israel, I will wipe the many names of Baal from your lips, and you will never mention them again. On that day I will make a covenant with all the wild animals and the birds of the sky and the animals that scurry along the ground so they will not harm you. I will remove all weapons of war from the land, all swords and bows, so you can live unafraid in peace and safety. I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord. “In that day, I will answer,” says the Lord. “I will answer the sky as it pleads for clouds. And the sky will answer the earth with rain. Then the earth will answer the thirsty cries of the grain, the grapevines, and the olive trees. And they in turn will answer, ‘Jezreel’—‘God plants!’ At that time I will plant a crop of Israelites and raise them for myself. I will show love to those I called ‘Not loved.’ And to those I called ‘Not my people,’ I will say, ‘Now you are my people.’ And they will reply, ‘You are our God!’””
Hosea 2:14-23 NLT
“The Lord gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Write down for the record everything I have said to you, Jeremiah. For the time is coming when I will restore the fortunes of my people of Israel and Judah. I will bring them home to this land that I gave to their ancestors, and they will possess it again. I, the Lord, have spoken!” This is the message the Lord gave concerning Israel and Judah. This is what the Lord says: “I hear cries of fear; there is terror and no peace. Now let me ask you a question: Do men give birth to babies? Then why do they stand there, ashen-faced, hands pressed against their sides like a woman in labor? In all history there has never been such a time of terror. It will be a time of trouble for my people Israel. Yet in the end they will be saved! For in that day,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will break the yoke from their necks and snap their chains. Foreigners will no longer be their masters. For my people will serve the Lord their God and their king descended from David— the king I will raise up for them. “So do not be afraid, Jacob, my servant; do not be dismayed, Israel,” says the Lord. “For I will bring you home again from distant lands, and your children will return from their exile. Israel will return to a life of peace and quiet, and no one will terrorize them. For I am with you and will save you,” says the Lord. “I will completely destroy the nations where I have scattered you, but I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you, but with justice; I cannot let you go unpunished.”
“But all who devour you will be devoured, and all your enemies will be sent into exile. All who plunder you will be plundered, and all who attack you will be attacked. I will give you back your health and heal your wounds,” says the Lord. “For you are called an outcast— ‘Jerusalem for whom no one cares.’” This is what the Lord says: “When I bring Israel home again from captivity and restore their fortunes, Jerusalem will be rebuilt on its ruins, and the palace reconstructed as before. There will be joy and songs of thanksgiving, and I will multiply my people, not diminish them; I will honor them, not despise them. Their children will prosper as they did long ago. I will establish them as a nation before me, and I will punish anyone who hurts them. They will have their own ruler again, and he will come from their own people. I will invite him to approach me,” says the Lord, “for who would dare to come unless invited? You will be my people, and I will be your God.”
The fierce anger of the Lord will not diminish until it has finished all he has planned. In the days to come you will understand all this.”
Jeremiah 30:1-11, 16-22, 24 NLT
““In that day,” says the Lord, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people. This is what the Lord says: “Those who survive the coming destruction will find blessings even in the barren land, for I will give rest to the people of Israel.” Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel. You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines. Again you will plant your vineyards on the mountains of Samaria and eat from your own gardens there. The day will come when watchmen will shout from the hill country of Ephraim, ‘Come, let us go up to Jerusalem to worship the Lord our God.’” Now this is what the Lord says: “Sing with joy for Israel. Shout for the greatest of nations! Shout out with praise and joy: ‘Save your people, O Lord, the remnant of Israel!’ For I will bring them from the north and from the distant corners of the earth. I will not forget the blind and lame, the widower, the deserted, the expectant mothers and women in labor. A great company will return! Tears of joy will stream down their faces, and I will lead them home with great care. They will walk beside quiet streams and on smooth paths where they will not stumble. For I am Israel’s father, and Ephraim is my oldest child. “Listen to this message from the Lord, you nations of the world; proclaim it in distant coastlands: The Lord, who scattered his people, will gather them and watch over them as a shepherd does his flock. For the Lord has redeemed Israel from those too strong for them. They will come home and sing songs of joy on the heights of Jerusalem. They will be radiant because of the Lord’s good gifts— the abundant crops of grain, new wine, and olive oil, and the healthy flocks and herds. Their life will be like a watered garden, and all their sorrows will be gone. The young women will dance for joy, and the men—old and young—will join in the celebration. I will turn their mourning into joy. I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing. The priests will enjoy abundance, and my people will feast on my good gifts. I, the Lord, have spoken!””
Jeremiah 31:1-14 NLT
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