Amy Session March.

 

When I look at my life right now I don’t feel sadness. I feel loneliness but not sadness. I am dealing with a great bit of physical pain but not an overwhelming emotional pain. I do feel grief, but I am starting to feel his delight sometimes too. I am very content in this stage of life where life is composed up hurried breakfasts, bus stops, and learning the rhythm of life the way He would intend for it. This rhythm has been offered by so much grace. I thought all of this was on me. He says no, I have teachers that are teaching them, and growing them without my doing.

Are you good?

 What is the truth about this situation? Greed is an idol.

Do I believe His Promises?

He has told me what it really looks like to keep his covenant.

What does righteousness to my children’s children look like?

I am very content in where I am in life right now. I know this is for my ultimate good. The Lord will seal me in His truth and power.

But…Its too painful to look at what a happy Sunday would be. I don’t want to imagine that. I don’t want to share custody of stepchildren. I don’t want a blended family. I don’t know if I even want to see another man try to love my kids because it will bring up more hurt. But if the pain is necessary to see my utter dependence on His every word, every step of the way, so be it!

 

The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, to give his life as a ransom for many.

Jude

Thus says the Lord,

 The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have love you with an everlasting love, therefor I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again, I will build you and you shall be built. And again, adorn yourself with tambourines and shall go forth in the dance of the merrymakers.

 

With weeping they shall come, and with pleas for mercy I will lead them back. I will make them walk by brooks of water, in a straight path in which they shall not stumble. My path to trusting in God.

I will keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock. For the Lord has ransomed Jacob and has redeemed him from hands too strong for him. And they shall be radiant over the goodness of the Lord, Over the young flock and herd, their life shall be a well-watered garden, and they shall languish no more…and my people shall be satisfied with my goodness declares the Lord.

 

I was just talking to God about my inability to dream of a future.

His response The Dream in Jerimiah: Mourning into Joy.

31: 23-

Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: “Once more they shall use these words in the land of Judah, when I restore their fortunes:

The Lord blesses you, O habitation of righteousness, and Judah and all its cities shall dwell there together, I will satisfy the weary and every languishing soul I will replenish. But even if you do not do all these things. He delights in me. I was ALWAYS SO JOYFUL. 

Sow with seed of man and beast, and it shall come to pass that as I have watched over them to pluck up and break down, to overthrow destroy and bring hard so I will watch over them to build and plant.

I will make a new covenant with you. I will put my law in them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I shall be their God and they shall be my people.

32:37-

I will bring them back to this place and I will make the dwell in safety, and they shall be my people. And I will give them one heart and one way and that they may fear me forever for their own good and good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant they will not turn away from doing good to them. . I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness with all my heart and all my soul.

Behold he is showing me what it looks like in relationship/ communion

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

Behold I will bring to it health and healing and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security I will restore the fortunes of Judah and Israel as they were at first. I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin against me and I will forgive all the guilt of their sin and rebellion against me.

Jude 

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy to the only God, our Savior through Jesus Christ be glory majesty dominion and authority. 

Now feeling as though I am leaving a season. I can leave the place of survival. I am learning unforced rhythms of grace. Now I get to ask, What does it look like to live? What is my hope? What does my hope look like?

The biggest indication with secure attachment to God is delight!