now

 I am sorry our time has to be filled with my racing thoughts. Most the reason I have to type down my every thought is because I know that it will slip through my hands and you have been speaking so much life into me lately. writing is how I reach a most permanant reminder of the words that you are showing me. You have showed me you are faithful and beautiful and intimate. I fight all day for the posture of my heart to be in walk with the spirit because satan bids my attention through all that has been placed on my shoulders. Lord keep me in step with you. Let me not fall back. God has given me so much to "reign over" right now. Guiding a sweet girls life who lost her mother in a car accident this year. A sweet heart that longs for the nurture and care of a mother. Lord let me keep pressing on and pushing the effects of the daily angst. Let me have your kingdom mindset. The daily posture of worship because he allows me to walk in life. Take my heart: the heart that has the financial, emotional, physical and spiritual authority of two incredible girls. Your posture toward me is abundant love and abundant life on earth and in heaven for those whose trust is in him. You have lead me and spoke to me every step of the way. Right now I am scarred that this infection is indicating something more. I dont know why I have been preparing myself for a bigger blow from this surgery happened right after I stopped s wi