Dreams

My A/C was out last night. It was about 80F in my room that I was sleeping with both the girls. I could tell Breckan wasnt sleeping well and as tired as I was unable to sleep with it being that warm. I woke at 2:30. Lately its been consistently at 3. I went to the living room and started reading Jerimiah chapters 1-7. 

I want to explore what this meant to me but most the passage was a warning against sin and captivity. I felt encouraged because only recently have I felt free from the bondage I had with comfort and control- that had manifested in many different ways throughout my life. 

I prayed for a little bit of rest but God was not done talking with me. 

I had a very vivid dream. 

The first part. We had just moved into our new home. I have been very adament about Kanon not knowing where we live. I have protected our space. In the dream, I was tired and running off to another meeting. It was "easiest" for the girls to just stay at home and so I told Kanon he could just watch the girls from my house. I immediately felt terror and shame for allowing him to come watch them here. 

The second part of the dream was what disturbed me so much. After he had left I looked out my window to see there was a tornado outside. Cars were being picked up but we were unaffected in the house.. The tornado that came unexpectedly. As it calmed outside, everyone of our neighbors came outside to assess the damage. There was a woman who pulled up in a car. She was dressed in all black with red eyes. Her job was to come around and count the survivors. She said as she counted the girls, “86, 87”then she put her hand on my shoulder and said #88. And turn to get back in the car. as she walked away. Her arm grew and her hand stayed on my shoulder. As I realized this, she turned back to look at me dead in the eyes. 

Anger rose up in me as I flung her hand off my shoulder and I peered at her more intently as I said “you can not have any one of us, go back to where you came from!” I woke up after that.

 I was less disturbed by the dream than I was encouraged that I was so venomately defending us, specifically me who her hand stayed on. I used to feel “tossed by the wind" - helpless against His attacks. But these days and more able to see clearly and stand strong against the attacks of Satan. The dream felt so real so since we have talked about dreams before I just thought I would share with you