Habits of the Household
Habits of the household
To steward, the habits of your family is to steward the hearts of your family
God, please parent me so I can parent them
Upon waking:
1. Say a prayer before looking at phone.
- Get in the Word
Declaration- meet his gaze before the gaze of your phone
- practice a short moment of gathering and sending the family
Parenting tries out for a way to see the significance of the moments passing before eyes and stewarding these moments well
Habits Meet us and give us Grace
Meal time: a ritual of communion
It’s a spiritual matter
Sit down at same time to eat together
- Light a candle- “ Christ is Light.”
- Join hands and pray
- Rose and thorn
- Ask to be excused
- Put dishes in sink
Family liturgies- spiritual formation happens in the normal.
Moments of worship to someone or something
We need to be comfortable to be ok
If I can’t handle a mess in kitchen then you won’t be good at hospitality
The spiritual realm is in the messy moments
The household is more than the nuclear family
We are blessed so that we can bless others
Hospitality
the practice of inviting strangers
is the place we turn strangers into friends
Messy tables and open doors are essential for the spiritual
Hospitality, honors, comfort, and beauty. It’s simple opening the door
Discipline:
The process of discipling your child’s heart towards the right loves
To form a life of discipleship
God loves us back into relationship, no matter what the personal cost is to him God discipline is the process that creates God‘s disciples.
Discipline is not altering behavior for our convenience. It’s a mean to steward our hearts towards a loving God.
Connect with them emotionally before logically
- Establish loving authority
Take a walk- it’s interruptive
Loving strength
We are in charge - to protect them from themselves
- Pause- Help me to see we both need parented by you
If they are scared - Remind myself, I’m an anxious person too
- Move towards them Body space over power - put a hand on them and look them in eyes
- Be relentless in seeking understanding - asking why they did it
-What did you do,
-what did you think was going to happen when u did that.
-What did the other person feel when you did that? this shows that we are not there to control their behavior but to find them.
- you are an angry person and I am too.
- Consequence - must be part of the reconciliation
Beware of consequences that are unrelated to the moment
A good one to work at for alongside me
- Insist apologies as confession they are out loud so we realize how nasty it is
Screen time:
Limits and guard rails
Choosing the right limits in which the playground of life is found
Taking the pain so my children do not have to
He took the pain For us so we don’t have to
We don’t sacrifice our kids formation so that we can have an Easier life, we sacrifice Our life so that our children can have biblical formation
Formation so it is worth fighting well
Duration :) setting limits and monitoring what is in those limits
Curation good screen time:
- Family movie nights Friday or Saturday
- Screanless car rides. Car time is conversation time
- Movies at friends house
No device alone. When friends are over no devices they have to go home
4.rhythms of screen sabbath
No screen For entertainment
Helps us make good choices
She’s good content over new content
Pick entertainment me that educates or expanse not that stimulates
Family Devotions:
Catechisms
Who did God make me. Make all things. Why did God make all things for his own glory.
Perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on him
Marriage:
Date night one week.
One night, a week alone.
Habits of affection
Why I love you so much
Always speaking well in front of them
The habit of parenting check in:
What are kids going through? How are we responding? How can we lean into this calling.
Habit of dreaming together. What friend does she hope to grow closer to? What are you hoping for in returning to work? What is broken that we need to fix in our patterns?
Chores:
Kids want to work alongside you.
habits of talking about work
Why do we have to do chores? Just like that, organize the world and made it a good place to live. It’s our job to keep things organized so we have a good place to live.
Habits of inviting them into the work of the household
Habits of letting them see their work outside of the household
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